If you haven’t heard of Ashwini Rajan, don’t worry. Even I hadn’t, until last month when I met her in Bangalore and was totally blown away with her charismatic, mesmerising august presence.
Unlike the garrulous ones who keep talking relentlessly to self-promote themselves or belittle others, Ashwini is one among the many unsung heroes who sees a need and immediately acts on it.
The details of her amazing work is already in the ‘least interested’ public domain. Google ‘Avyang Foundation’ and you will see her achievements, where she runs a home for the elderly destitute, providing not only shelter but also mental and emotional support for the abandoned.
Ever since it was established in 2022, Avyang has rescued more than 75 people. But what’s amazing is that 17 of those who were picked from the streets, have been reunited with their families.
But this isn’t about Ashwini- the Good Samaritan, whose only goal in life was- ‘to do something for my country’. It is about Ashwini the person.
What I am about to paint is a portrait of an incredibly gutsy individual, craving acceptance from an indifferent society; it is a black and white sketch of a girl trapped in a boy’s body and her painful transformation into a colourful and assertive transwoman; and it is the tragic picture of how this brave woman dismantled multiple hurdles to pave way forward for thousands of her ilk.
When I simply wanted to know what it was that compelled her to start this amazing service to humanity, (hoping to amplify the work of the foundation), I wasn’t at all prepared for the heartrending answers. She pulled up her legs and settled comfortably on a chair. And then, instead of being given the specifics of the remarkable work of her organisation, I was given the tragic reasons of ‘why’ she had to reinvent herself physically.
I was presented with the gory details of the sex change ‘operation’ she underwent. Nothing, believe me, NOTHING was presented in a sanitized and superficial way. I wasn’t even given a disclaimer to prepare myself for the shocking details about to follow. Her long and laborious narrative was all about her personal and public battle, so that people like her could be brought on an even keel with the nation’s binary population- We the flawless paragons of Nature!
I don’t know what it was that made her open up her deepest, darkest secrets. Starting with her physiological and emotional confusions growing up as a ‘boy’ in a conservative environment, her bright, passionate and expressive eyes then reflected the horrendous flashback of the ‘Ashwin’ to ‘Ashwini’ transformation.
Her husky voice kept altering in intervals, bringing in the grace, the pain and the emotional heft of her innermost turmoil. Each word she spoke was rooted in the realities of a conservative society’s resistance to change. She spoke of the harsh reality and the stigma of being ‘different’.
She spoke of the complete estrangement from family, which ultimately compelled her to look at herself from another light. And she spoke of her next logical step to reinvent herself physically, only to find her rightful place in a ‘normal’ world. She was just a harmless child wanting to correct a mistake made by Mother Nature.
But that wasn’t all. What followed was an agonising tale of sexual exploitation- by the police and other arms of the administration. Then began the challenges of taking on the inimical forces, both within and outside the world of a transgender. It wasn’t only the pimps and brothel keepers that had to be dealt with.
Her battle was also with the self- appointed guardians of orthodoxy and people in positions of power. The pain and the stigma of being ‘different’ exuding from her vivid account, was enough to transport me into a world that was beyond my imagination!
It is impossible to pierce past all the facets of Ashwini’s struggles, to put down details of all her powerful secrets- with herself, her family, her society, her community, and the laws of the land. And yet, the retelling of her story does not feel unnecessary, because it serves the purpose of furthering awareness.
It highlights the struggles and the aspirations of the third gender. It dispels all the misconceptions that we’ve grown up having for generations. And, it pushes us to treat them with the respect that they deserve as citizens of a free nation.
It’s not easy being born different, in a milieu where normalcy is defined by the majority. It’s even tougher for such minorities to step out of their comfort zones and passionately nourish the hearts of elderly souls that are dumped or lost in the maze of a chaotic world.
So if such genuinely compassionate citizens like Ashwini are overlooked when awards are distributed like freebies, it really doesn’t matter; because there are probably millions like her scattered all across our nation. What matters is that because of the tangible impact of change that such nameless people bring to our society, these faceless ones will always remain civilians of the highest order. They will always be the true patriots.
The trials and tribulations of such exceptional people, together with their extraordinary service to humankind, already puts them in the premium rank in the field of any human endeavour. And even if they continue to remain anonymous, these citizens are the true ‘Ratnas’ that ‘Bharat’ already has.