Don't Date a Girl Who Reads The News

We are all familiar with the “Don’t Date a Girl Who Travels” article and the “Date a Girl Who Travels” response for those not familiar with sarcasm. These follow the excellent “Don’t Date a Girl Who Reads” (originally titled, “You Should Date an Illiterate Girl”). Well, we at The Citizen have sounder advice than other internet dating pundits; the worst thing you can possibly do to yourself - is to date a girl who reads the news.

Don’t date a girl who reads the news. She understands conflict and she will not be appeased by flowers and candy if the situation demands an analysis of what’s wrong and why. She has not followed the conflict in South Sudan or American intervention in Afghanistan only to blindly accept a sorry, as she knows fully well that history repeats itself and it’s imperative to address the root causes of conflict.

Don’t date a girl who reads the news. She might ruin a night out by getting into an argument with someone who she believes is uninformed (perhaps because unlike her, they do not read the news). She doesn’t just follow the news, she has an opinion that has been carefully cultivated by years of reading, and often cemented by the publication she chooses to subscribe to.

Don’t date a girl who reads the news. She demands relevance. Don’t try and bring up an issue that was resolved years ago in an unconnected argument. Remember, the first three words of “news” spell “new”. Nothing irks her more than redundancy.

Don’t date a girl who reads the news. She will demand commitment. She knows enough about the world to know that commitment is the single most important factor for sustainable change.

Don’t date a girl who reads the news. She will move on without looking back if you disappoint her. She knows that if it is not working for her, onward she must go. She knows that the world is constantly changing, evolving, and that time stops for no one, least of all you.

Don’t date a girl who reads the news. She will demand her place in the relationship as an equal, or attempt to dominate you - depending on which side of the political system her affiliations lie. She knows that structures of dependency and hierarchy are perpetrated to exert control.

Don’t date a girl who reads the news. She will not accept lies. She knows that importance of accuracy, and herself fact-checks everything that she reads; expect her to fact check everything that you say. Expect her to think less of you if she catches you telling a lie.

Don’t date a girl who reads. She will be skeptical. She has read enough about the world to understand the role of bias, and will stubbornly defend her right to form her own opinion irrespective of what you tell her.

So, if you think dating a girl who travels or reads books is a challenge, try dating a girl who reads the news. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.