ADOLESCENCE

We have all gone through the tumultuous phase of ‘Adolescence’. So when you start watching this British psychological thriller on Netflix, you brace yourself for a story of teen angst and growing pains. Or expect to see a platform where kids navigate through puberty, balancing hormones and homework .

What you least expect is to be led into a dark pathway fraught with murder and toxic masculinity. What you don’t foresee is a terrifying truth- that chaos doesn’t knock politely but rudely kicks down the door and storms in when you least expect it. What you cannot even imagine is that the line between a safe mundane family life and the world crashing down around you is very thin, very fragile. And no one is exempt from it, no matter how happy the family is.

So brace yourselves dear parents, because when you are introduced to the ‘hero/villain’ in this harrowing gritty drama and see a child and not an adult, it becomes a full- blown parental nightmare! The kind that creeps under your skin, making you want to tie your children to their beds until they grow up. But, keeping our kids safe isn’t about hiding them from the world, but teaching them how to navigate it. So even if it’s a pretty slow burn, that is also precisely the reason why every parent should watch it.

Especially those smug with the knowledge that they know their kids inside out; those who believe that since their family isn’t fractured and their home is always ‘positively influenced’, hence their kids can never go wrong.

But what they are unaware of are the challenges they have in raising teenagers in a rapidly changing world. What they fail to see are the murky waters of peer pressure, the insecurity arising from lack of self- esteem, the perceived bullying at school and the quiet storm that brews within a child from what s/he consumes through social media.

And when the focus of the narrative switches from the victim’s family to all those in the life of the accused, it prompts us to ask questions about who is actually to blame for teen violence. Believe me, after watching this, you might actually wonder if your own kids might be harbouring secrets, you are too scared to find out.

But this series isn’t just about bad kids or bad parenting. It is about accepting that even good kids are vulnerable to spiraling into situations they cannot control. And good parents are also capable of landing in the most unusual of circumstances.

‘Adolescence’ is also not a ‘whodunnit’ but rather a ‘why-done-it’ thriller, because after the first episode we already know ‘who’ did it. In the following two, we are shown the combination of factors that contribute to ‘why’ it was done.

Through candid interviews we witness the shame of falling short of anyone’s expectations, thus making teens susceptible to podcasters and influencers who stoke their impotent rage into something far more dangerous. It also highlights how online communities can distort perceptions of reality and contribute to harmful behaviour.

Watching the series is also a brutal but necessary reminder of how today’s teens who are literally glued to laptops and cellphones, are walking tightropes every day, balancing hormones, peer dynamics, life online and offline with choices that can have consequences. It not only reminds but also cautions us that while we can’t always prevent the unthinkable, we can at least become the soft cushions for our kids to fall back on. We can always be there for them, listen to them and guide them along.

Even though it’s not based on a true story, parts of the series were inspired by real-life incidents. Another unique feature is that every episode is shot in a single take, in what is called a ‘one shot style’- meaning once the camera starts rolling it stops only at the end of the episode.

This energic spontaneity gives you a feel of the theatre where you are watching a play, because there’s a kind of realism of a live performance. What really touched me was that in the last episode, when even though none of the family members are to blame, the father and mother tearfully accept and take accountability for their parenting choices. And the child stoically accepts his mistakes too.

Some of the scenes- especially the raw unflinching expressions of the father caught between grieving, protecting his child, dealing with his own mess of guilt AND the interview of the son by his therapist, are so gut wrenching and so painfully real, that it hits you right where it hurts. The snarky teen banter (which literally went above my head) and the heartbreak of seeing a family fall apart, leaves behind a deep emotional impact.

‘Adolescence’ is not about what you teach your children but also about what you fail to teach them. It isn’t about the talents that you perceive in your child, but also about their problems that you fail to recognize. It might also leave the ‘masculine’ men, thinking about their role as fathers, partners, friends and make them question who they are as people.

But if there’s one take away from the series, it is the fact that it’s NEVER too early to teach boys to see girls as people. Not objects of desire, conquest or resentment.

And when the series bows out with an emotional rendition of Aurora’s ‘Through the Eyes of a Child’, you cannot help but tear up and give a thumbs up for this befitting finale:

‘World is covered by our trails

Scars we cover up with pain

Watch them preach in sour lies

I would rather see this world through the eyes of a child

Through the eyes of a child

Darker times will come and go

Times you need to see her smile

And mothers' hands are warm and mild

I would rather feel this world through the skin of a child

Through the skin of a child

When a human strokes your skin

That is when you let them in

Let them in before they go

I would rather feel alive with a childlike soul

With a childlike soul

Please don't leave me here...’