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‘For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world’- W.R.Wallace
‘One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters’- George Herber‘
What a teacher is, is more important than what s/he teaches’-Karl Menninger
‘Feminism is not just about women; it’s about letting all people lead fuller lives’- Jane Fonda
All great rulers were once helpless children pampered by mothers and disciplined by fathers. All great rulers were once vulnerable kids, whose minds were productively shaped by their teachers. If not for their parents they would not have gotten to greater heights. If not for their teachers they wouldn’t have achieved success in life.
If a mother’s job is to give birth to a bunch of live wires, and a father’s to keep them from entangling, it is the duty of the teacher to wrap each individual wire with insulated tools of care, so that they are well grounded and not exposed to danger.
Parents across the globe have always had a decisive influence, because primarily they are the ones who raise and nurture the next generation. Their influence during the formative years of a child has a vital role to play in shaping the child’s behaviour, development and emotional growth. They are the defining factor that can bring a greater change to society.
Whether or not the child turns into a hardworking achiever with good conduct and discipline habits, or a lazy and careless loafer depends on the child’s upbringing. If mothers are our first friend, fathers our guides, then teachers are our very first mentors. They are responsible for moulding and modelling young minds.
The children watch their role models through unblinking eyes, observing every little deed, hearing every single word; unknowingly, acting in accordance with their actions too. These tiny ‘flowers’ that have the capacity to gradually bloom with the warmth of love, can also instantly wilt when exposed to the harsh rays of hate, abuse and violence.
If they can blossom and bloom with the shower of smiles, in a downpour of prejudiced frowns, their roots can also rapidly decay. Everything children learn during this innocent phase of their lives stays with them forever. So it becomes the duty of those who nurture these fragile flowers to give them the right amount of sunshine.
And the moral training of all such masons (whether it’s a man or a woman) should be to leave behind confident imprints on young developing minds. Not suspicious dents that scar them for life and damage them beyond repair.
Since today is all about Women, let us now focus on the ‘feminists’, who started a movement by taking up the cudgels to demand equal rights. All was fine until women claiming to be helpless victims, in the same breath also started to allege that they are powerful and don’t need men. Or wanting to be ‘independent’ and then demanding men to fix all their problems.
If you’ve heard about the term ‘Woke Feminism’, it’s even more confusing because it tells all of us who are ‘asleep’ that those who are not ‘true feminists’, are not real women. Seriously?
I mean, come on! The whole point of the movement was to free the women from the shackles of duty imposed in a patriarchal society. Now what do we have? Women may be free from the kitchen but most are chained to the cubicles of a workplace- whether they want it or not. Then there is the traditional mother-in-law who wants a ‘bahu-in-the-kitchen’, while the modern ‘groom’ wants a working wife.
So where and what is the choice here? Patriarchy is slavery, period. And Misogynistic minds, whether it’s of a man or a woman, don’t believe in any kind of equality.
Talking of feminism, suppose a woman enters a crowded bus where all seats are filled, and she finds a man occupying her reserved seat, what stance should she take? If she continues to stand, waiting for the gentleman to offer, that's feminism because she has equality in mind. But if the pseudo feminist, demands that the seat is only for women, is that even right?
This new kind of ‘woke feminism’ where a woman considers herself superior to men happens when the so-called sleep deprivation starts to fog the feminine minds. Sorry, but if this is the kind of feminism people want, then I’d rather keep sleeping.
Today, let us agree to disagree that this isn’t a gender war between a Man and a Woman. It isn’t about who is more superior. Rather it’s about a patriarchal and a misogynist mindset. Patriarchy wants women chained to the houses and men chained to their offices. It keeps women from exiting the kitchens and men from entering them. It prevents Men from shedding tears; from being partners to their better halves and better fathers to their children.
Since ‘boys don’t cry’; since the place of man is not in the kitchen or in the nursery, the wife or the mother is left to carry the burden of loneliness and upbringing entirely on her fragile shoulders. But true feminism is where equality reigns. It allows women out in public and lets men be a part of the home; which is how it should be!
But even if everything is sunny for most of us, the days of some women and children are darker than the darkest nights. The endless discussions and debates on social media by the intelligentsia can only highlight their issues, for it is impossible to know the feeling of living in the shadows of constant fear.
So the next time you celebrate Mother’s Day, remember all those women who rocked the cradle so hard that the boughs of sanity were broken and shattered.
Next time you celebrate Father’s Day, remember the child who was beaten black and blue by a man who wanted discipline in a militaristic way.
Next time you celebrate Children’s Day, remember the child who stood frozen in an LKG class, as his classmates walked up to him one by one to slap him across the face, just because he happened to be from another community.
Next time you celebrate Teacher’s Day, remember the ‘Teachers’ who sat firmly on a chair planting seeds of poison on young Indian soil, while the naive kids do what they do, not because they want to, but because they are directed by their mentor.
And today as we celebrate Women's Day, let us remember those women who are not given a platform to speak from. Let us be their voice.
When gentle hands aggressively rock the cradle; when misleading advice re-wires young brains to permanently wound or traumatize; when mentors become disruptors; when constructive turns to destructive; and when street fights are taken inside classrooms of schools, colleges and universities, it is a sure sign of danger for the nation as a whole.
Even if it skips a heartbeat every day, thankfully India’s stable heart is still beating. Even if they are a handful, thankfully these sensible voices are not silent. Even if we are surrounded by sick people we still live in a healthy society; and even if the circumstances depress and demoralize us, our hearts are always endorsed with endless hope. Life may give us a million reasons to be churlish, but even one reason to be grateful is enough.
A Happy Womens Day- To every Man, Woman and Child!
Nargis Natarajan is an author and columnist who lives in Orissa. The views expressed here are the writer’s own.