‘Humble In Victory, Gracious In Defeat’

In democracies with vibrant diversities, language is fundamental to creating social realities. The decency of language and discipline of words, especially when disagreeing with one another, and as used by the dominant powers-that-be can either create a salubrious narrative, and the absence of so, a completely jarring, hateful and polarising one.

Which times are we living in today? Inclusive and progressive times, or one, where we actively ‘other’ some of our own? Is there an element of ‘us-versus-them’ normalcy?

The honest answer to the same query can never come from the powerful ones in the larger equation, but from the ones who are actively and assiduously ‘othered’ as the lesser ones.

In the dance of democracy, the electoral times, are particularly vulnerable and susceptible to unleashing the worst instincts and aspersions of ‘othering’. just when one thinks the narrative has hit the pits, India sadly discovers a new low of ungraciousness, inelegance and personal diatribe that hadn’t been stooped to, earlier.

In such times, both the victor and the loser in the electoral fray contribute to the lowering of standards and discourse. However, the essential lever of controlling the overall tenor of the engagement and its resultant expressions, resides predominantly for the tonality, phraseology and syntax deployed by the more powerful side in the electoral fight, as it happens in any human engagement or even disagreement.

There is an old civilisational maxim that ought to befit this ancient land, and its proud practitioners of democratic traditions that date back to 5000 years of recorded history: ‘humble in victory, gracious in defeat’.

It is important to introspect if either of the two sides of this saying is true in our context? After the electoral dust settled with results that made many happy, and upset many, did our political language ultimately suggest unity, culture, largeness-of-heart, or even basic accommodating magnanimity?

There was a lovely story recalled by the former United States President Barack Obama, at the funeral ceremony of his one-time Presidential rival, Senator John McCain. Obama had acknowledged that both had been fierce defendants of their respective and opposing ideological persuasions, yet they felt it personally imperative and incumbent to afford decency onto each other, especially when they disagreed.

Obama went to narrate the incident when the decidedly more ‘muscular’ (rightwing) politics and persona of Senator John McCain took a back seat when a McCain supporter blurted an outright shocker, “I can’t trust Obama. I have read about him, and he’s not, um, he’s an Arab”, at a town hall meeting intended to drum up support for John McCain presidential pitch.

Contrary to expectations of a overlook, ignore or even a approving nudge (that could be expected from the likes of an unhinged fellow-Republican, Donald Trump), John McCain grabbed the microphone from the xenophobic and racist women and cut her off by saying, “No, Ma’am, he’s a decent family man (and) citizen… and I just happen to have disagreements with him on fundamental issues, and that’s what the campaign’s all about”.

Common sense (not propriety or decency) would suggest that John McCain had perhaps done himself no favour from an electoral sense, given his Right-wing constituents, but he had persisted.

Obama graciously contextualised Senator John McCain’s instinctive behaviour to be beyond partisan or electoral impulse, and to be reflective of the inherent grace and dignity that was Senator John McCain. He said, “John pushed back against supporters that challenged my patriotism during the 2008 campaign. I was grateful but I wasn't surprised. As Joe Lieberman said, that was John's instinct.

“I never saw John treat anyone differently because of their race or religion or gender. That in those moments that have been referred to during the campaign he saw himself as defending America's character, not just mine.”

Obama went on to recall his private time with John McCain after the elections, and how they kept meeting and engaging with each other in a civil and genuinely friendly manner.

Then Obama movingly stated the obvious, “our disagreements didn't go away during these private conversations. Those were real and they were often deep. But we enjoyed the time we shared away from the bright lights, and we laughed with each other, and we learned from each other and we never doubted the other man's sincerity or the other patriotism or that when all was said and done, we were on the same team. We never doubted we were on the same team.”

Both Obama and McCain never reneged from their ideological and partisan beliefs, and yet, never doubted the integrity, intent or sincerity of the other.

When Senator John McCain was in his last months of his failing life he went about planning his own funeral,the lifelong Republican made it a point not to invite the then sitting President of the United States, i.e, Donald Trump, a Republican, and instead requested his Presidential rival Barack Obama to speak at his funeral (along with George W. Bush, Henry Kissinger, Joe Biden, Warren Beatty, Michael Bloomberg, Lindsey Graham and McCain family members).

The dignified Soldier-Senator John McCain and the equally distinguished Barack Obama, both from opposite sides of the deeply divided partisan sides could still publicly relate to each other as equal humans, patriots, and as vital necessities of the ‘American Dream’.

Do we afford similar optics, exchange and bonhomie that is beyond aspersions, blame-games and questioning of motives? We make the personal accusations and innuendoes that are tolerated, dog-whistled and vocalised, without a care for how it is dangerously weaponsing society. We talk of ‘xyz’-mukt politics, we talk of ‘double-engine sarkaars’ (to hell with the hallowed federal spirit), we have even normalised words that require utmost sensitivity in suggestions e.g., anti-national, sedition, “payrolls of Pakistan/China” etc.

Hardly have the recent state elections got over and the political parties are busy alluding to ‘semi-finals’ and implications for 2024. This comes with all portents guaranteeing a far dirtier, personalised, and hateful times ahead that will peak with the next General Elections in 2024.

Both the ruling and opposition parties are guilty of the regression, only the extent of contribution to the looming morass and bitterness, differs. The maxim ‘humble in victory, gracious in defeat’ is already a sad joke, imagine what lies ahead?

Lt. General Bhopinder Singh (PVSM) is the former Lieutenant Governor of Andaman and Nicobar Islands and Pondicherry. Views expressed are the writer’s own.