NEW DELHI: Delhi, or now the National Capital Region of Delhi, is a city worthy of envy. Wide tree-lined roads, houses with a *gasp* garden, proximity to *real* mountains (Lonavala? Pshht), air that is devoid of the musk (read stink) of fish… the list goes on.
Despite all these clear assets, Delhi -- for those who are not from Delhi -- often provokes a cringe. Travel to any city in the country, and the affable country-mouse from Chandigarh or the self-righteous go-getter from Bombay, immediately change their disposition on hearing that you -- yes, you -- are from India’s hated-on capital.
Tell someone you’re from Delhi and they will immediately label you as spoilt. “Daddy’s princess” they think, as they roll their eyes. If you’re a boy, they retort with “took a break from the gym, huh?” and walk away. I was recently in Bombay (um, I mean Mumbai -- Delhi doesn’t need to change its name to pander to a certain political lobby / militant outfit), and the person I was talking to had the audacity to express surprise at my ability to speak English sans a mother/sister expletive. “At least I don’t throw in a y’all after every sentence,” I said -- a weak attempt at a retort.
Well I have had enough. I tried to come up with insulting stereotypes for every other city. The spoilt Bombay brat (applies to Delhi). The 1 AM curfew Bangalorean (applies to Delhi). The Honey Singh loving Chandigarh cool kids (applies to Delhi). The Calcutta wanna-be intellectual (umm JNU anyone? Applies to Delhi). See what I mean? I had to give up. For those reading this who are from Delhi, HELP!!! Post any retorts that have worked in your favour in the comments section. In the meanwhile, however, the best I can do is acquaint you with the wide range of insults that will be levelled at you if you’re from Delhi. Brace yourself fellow Delhi folk. This ain’t pretty.
1. The spoilt brat
2. The rape capital
3. The hypocritical show-off
4. The hypocritical MCP
5. The MCP, period.
6. The shopaholic bimbette
7. The hypocritical intellectual
8. The liar
9. The BC-user (named Bunty at that)
10. The geographical mess
11. The one with the skewed priorities
12. Delhi number what??
13. The question master
14. The angry hypocrit