Thus Spake Trump!

Who would've thought that Donald J. Trump, Master of Malapropism, would have the temerity to publicly declare that his speeches are a master class in language and oratory? Apologies to Iranians and our Parsi community. for using the tagline, 'Thus Spake Trump', as a parallel to 'Thus Spake Zarathustra'.

To equate a prophet with a buffoon is a travesty of the worst kind. This juxtaposition is purely satirical to marvel at the fact that his megalomania would extend from politics to language.

Trump's 'meandering' speeches as a Presidential aspirant again are, purportedly, a rhetorical device to weave words and themes to great effect. Donald proudly claims: “You know, I do the weave. I'll talk about like nine different things, and they all come back brilliantly together”.

Delusions can create mental fog. His self-analysis falls far short of truth by a whole kilometre. Incredibly enough, Donald claims his English professor friends are admiring his speaking skills.

Even Henry Higgins, the fictional English professor of phonetics, in Bernard Shaw's play , 'The Pygmalion' , filmed as 'My Fair Lady' (1964), who could transform a cockney girl , Eliza Doolittle , into a lady of class, would've failed in taking Trump from crass to class.

Trump’s crass linguistic 'disability' is there for all to see. Certainly, in a ‘language paralympics Trump would run away with the gold medal at the drop of a word.

Trump's constant dropping of word bricks could generate an endless supply in a kiln. Timothy O'Brien, a Trump biographer, rightly doubts his having English professors as buddies: “What this really reflects is that he is aware of the criticism that he is publicly saying non- linear nonsensical word salad , and he's trying to pretend there is a strategy behind it”.

With Trump's declared dislike of books, he is certainly not the Bard who, with an oceanic linguistic expanse and brilliant figures of speech, could 'weave' disparate themes together with great poetic panache. Trump, neither poetic nor prosaic, can unravel any word-thread and give you a gaping hole instead of a woven tapestry.

Remember the master tweeter on the former avatar of X, in a midnight slumberous state, posting on May 31, 2017, that “Despite the constant negative press covfefe", and leaving it at that. The tweet went viral and spawned memes and jokes.

Leaving the tweet incomplete clouded by ambiguity was a deliberate ploy according to his campaign managers. He may not follow Cicero's guidelines of rhetoric but has apparently his own skills as a seasoned salesman.

Hillary Clinton, with the most formidable credentials to be a President, lost to a nonentity in politics in 2017. And repetition of derogatory phrases like 'crooked Hillary' stuck burr-like in the mind of the voters.

Though in the current campaign labelling his rival as 'Cackling Kamala' is not proving too successful. Even Vladimir Putin, though saying it with a smirk, appreciates Kamala's infectious laughter.

Linguistic theorists say that speech is a later development in human evolution. Gestures were the first manifestations of speech capacity. Trump seems to be caught in a time-warp as his linguistic style is peppered more with gestures rather than the mot-juste.

He raises an eyebrow, pouts, shrugs or spreads his arms to convey something and, to his credit, seems to connect on an emotional level with the common person not burdened by linguistic finesse.

Trump is said to be cast in the same mould as P. T. Barnum. The famous 19th Century American entrepreneur and politician who founded the storied Circuses, Barnum and Bailey & Ringling Brothers. Barnum, a master of publicity stunts, would draw people in droves.

Trump, sipping from the same fountain the elixir of showmanship, has displayed the same canny nose for publicity. He, of course, is a one man circus!

Ushi Kak aka Kashpundit, is an author who revels in wordplay and satire couched in humour. At times she deviates into gravitas. Views expressed are the writer’s own.