Hey Bhakts,

Might have left you alone on this last day of the year but this Al Jazeera anchor Mehdi Hasan has come in the way of our special relationship. And I figured someone had to set the score right, and why not me, a person who you like (hate they say is akin to love) and who does figure somewhere on your ratings card.

Hasan disturbed me. He wrote, “I've done 30 odd @AJHeadtoHead interviews with guests from around the world over past 3 years. But never had a Twitter response like this. Over the past 48 hours, Hindu nationalist trolls have tried to smear me as a closet Islamist, a Pakistani and an ISIS supporter. Sheesh. I guess the interview must really have hurt. Why focus on what their guy said when they can just attack the host, right? Classic evasion. The past 48 hours of abuse have taught me that EDL's, Likud's & Trump's supporters have got a lot to learn from the 'Hindutva' crowd online.”

I mean what did he expect. He had interviewed a leader who is part of the cause you espouse, RSS/BJP Ram Madhav. He had rubbished him, been aggressive in his questioning (how dare he!), and accosted him with facts (that is unforgivable, I agree with you). And in the process tried to show that the BJP government is fascist, or almost there. (I wrote something like that but you dear bhakts have since made me realise the folly of my ways….!) And whats more he succeeded in pillorying Madhav, making the audience laugh at your leader, and what is more accosting him with a Kashmiri Pandit woman, whats her name, something Kaul. I am sure you are teaching her a lesson since or being secular, and independent right? I mean come on, a bold woman, and that too speaking of human rights violations in Kashmir. How much worse can it get!!

So this Hasan got what he deserved. He got you bhakts on his trail, and you abused him, you brought up his Muslim antecedents, you called him Islamic State jihadist, you hit him hard for you wanted to demolish him. As you must as persons like him are a menace as they are professional, they are independent and what is worse they say it as it is. And as you and I know it should never be said as it is, for then the lies get nailed and we don’t want that happening do we?

Also I wanted to tell Hasan to do some more interviews so that he can have as deep an acquaintance with you as some of us have. For then he will appreciate you and understand you. He will commiserate with you as many of us have learnt to do.

2015 has not ended on the note it started right? Somewhere along the way your victims have turned into assailants. They have turned on you, the loyal, unsung armies of the Hindutva brigade who work hard, and often only for a pittance. But are there always, to sling abuse, hurl threats, spread lies, attack and send to Pakistan all those who you are told are queering your masters’ agenda for themselves, in the name of the nation of course.

You sink your identities---or actually you derive your identities from the cause that you serve and have pictures of angry gods, even fascist leaders, and of course Prime Minister Narendra Modi who you claim to adore as your profile photos. You don’t like Facebook as it is less anonymous, and use Twitter to the fullest extent as you latch onto an anti-comment and come out with the full might of abuse.

I don’t blame you as this takes you away from your humdrum lives of frustration and gives you a sense of power that you can exercise with impunity. No one is too big for you, as a green signal (from that invisible hand that controls and protects you) is enough? And there you emerge from the woodworks to abuse, pillory and threaten. It must be so exhilarating right? To be able to act out your fantasies without fear of retribution. You must be feeling so powerful right? Have such a sense of belonging….

Oh yes, I can understand that. Some of my sickular friends can’t but I have over the years ---particularly the last two---developed this Stockholm syndrome where I cannot do without you. I miss you on days I don’t hear from you, and believe me look at what I have done or said, where I have gone wrong to be deprived of your attention. I am so used to being sent to Pakistan, being called an extremist killer, a Islamic State bootlicker, an anti-national that I now look at all these descriptions as a compliment. A compliment that at least I am noticed, and that you my dear bhakts care!

You dear bhakts spell Genius. You have developed a new vocabulary altogether, sickulars, prestitutes that you are rightfully proud of. The only problem is that by the end of 2015 these people have stopped caring, they don’t even bother countering you. Its like you are just a bunch of retards that no one likes to take notice of---- except some like me of course who know your worth.

The bigger problem is that even those who control you, are trying to restrain you. Don’t attack those who oppose a lynching, stop it, keep quiet. Now, that dear bhats is not fair. After all what better time for you all to be out than when a man is lynched, as even those who normally keep quiet come out in protest. So you have many more out there to hit, and you did a good job when Ashfaq was lynched and attacked all those speaking out against it, returning awards, speaking out for Indian secularism and democracy. You were there giving it back, calling them traitors, anti national, and trying to send all of them to Pakistan.

What a let down it must have been for you to find that before these writers and historians or even unimportant persons like me could be sent there, Prime Minister Narendra Modi landed in Lahore. And that too without taking any of you into confidence. Your silence reflected your confusion, that I hope will be cleared by the New Year.

And you will be back dear bhakts holding the flag of hate and divisiveness high.

Happy is not a kosher word in your vocabulary so I can’t wish you a Happy New Year as one does to ordinary mortals. Besides isn’t this concept of New Year western? So let’s drop all this hogwash and get down to brass tacks. What about forming a union for a better pay and certificates of recognition. Down with anonymity! What is power without a face!

Now thats a thought one can leave you with. Excuse me while I go out with these sickulars to ring in the New Year that they insist will further emasculate you!

What to do bhakts, old habits die hard….

A Jihadist admirer !

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